Kidney Biopsy
They want to do a biopsy of my kidney. I'm scared. I don't know why specifically they want to. Have they found something that leads them to believe my kidney's are not doing so well?
*Cries*
*cries some more*
Also! I found this stupid link online from a woman claiming that through research and blablabla she cured her lupus and "you can too, just give me money". Maybe I have a fucked up view of things... but seriously if I knew how to "cure lupus" would I charge money for that?! HELL NO! Would I go out of my way to tell people about the "cure" FOR FREE?? YES!!! Is my view messed up?
Would any of you, knowing personally the suffering and pain lupus causes, charge money to help others out?
*fumes then cries some more*
I'm just angry right now. And sad. And worried.
A biopsy... *wanders away*
So I'm visiting my dad 'till tomorrow.
My crosseyes seem to be getting better. It hasn't happened in a few days. Which is excellent news.
I went to see a Kidney Specalist last Monday. He's going to consult with the original specalist and see if they think it's necessary to do a biopsy on one of my kidneys. I guess with Lupus, it's not uncommon for it to attack your kidney's. *shrug*
I have a bunch of appointments with specalists coming up:
- more blood taken on the 4th
- MRI on the 7th
- original specalist on the 13th.
- The neurologist wanted to see me one week after I got my MRI done, but I'm not sure if I will be in town then. So we'll see.
Yesterday was an odd day. I went for a walk with my doggy and dad. It was super hot and super humid here. So whatever we're outside for about 45 minutes and I keep feeling worse and worse. Eventually I had to insist we go back. So we get back to my dad's place and I immediatly go lay down. I felt like I was going to barf. So there I was laying down and I announce that I was gonna throw up and feel awful. My dad said my face went white. Totally 100% white. Like no pigment white.
Other then that I have less symptoms then I have in the last little while.
- I'm still a bit swollen (mostly fingers and feet/ankles)
- My joints still want to pop out if I move too quickly. Especially my right thumb and left ankle.
- Lots of headaches
- Insane cramps (which prolly are NOT lupus related... I am a girl)
I'll keep updating this as I go through the list of seeing all the various specalists and when "flares" seem to happen.
Lupus?
So... I went to the specalist today. He said 100% without a doubt... SLE aka Lupus.
I also was seen by a nuerologist (who wants to see me again) and gyno. *sigh*. Monday I gotta go to a kidney specalist too. *sigh*.
Mental state is ok. I'm pretty sad. I was hoping I'd go in today and I would be... I dunno. Cured? Silly, I know. It's just hard. Being 24, knowing that pretty much for the rest of my life I will be on some sort of drug(s). *sigh*
Still on the same drugs. Also he perscribed Iron. Forget what it's called. I'll look tomorrow.
The specalist also said it would be ok to do Yoga. So, I want to start that ASAP.
More info about lupus.
Latest sypmtoms:
- less pain and swelling, unless I let myself stiffen. Moving around is good.
- sometimes my eyes go all crossed and that's followed by EXTREME confusion and disorientation.
- rash is still on my arms, but at least its not getting worse.
- Seems like the cross eyed thing can be bad or good. Happened 2 or 3 times yesterday. One was real bad, the others not so bad. I remembered what I was doing for the "good" one. The "bad" one I forgot what I was doing and had to go take a nap. Also, usually if the crosseyes thing is bad its usually accompanied by a real bad headache when it's over. Can't really explain with words what it is like. Kinda like an extreme brain misfire.
- I ask people around me multiple times, the same question. Over and over and over.
- Extreme stess/anger makes it worse. Anger seems worse to "flare" me.
- I forget what else. hahaha just kidding. Brain is working still for the moment.
*shrug*
