Sad :(
I'm down today. I must be PMSing. lol. Because really, I'm not usually emotional over Lupus. In my eyes, it's self defeating and well just a waste of energy/emotion to be upset a lot about Lupus. Once in awhile days are allowed! So here I am, wallowing a bit.I've been reading Lupus sites like crazy...I've been fueled by the MS mention. Seeing how similar they are, etc etc. I can safely say, I don't believe I have MS. I believe my Lupus caused some symptoms that were very similar, or even the same, to those of MS.
Anyway in my readings I've come across things like: *most* people die as a result of kidney failure caused by Lupus, and if you're not in the category it's heart failure, next lungs. Oh and we're more suseptible to cancer. Lemme shout out to one of my fave sayings here: WTF?! Maybe I've been ignoring websites that just put it out there like that. Not sure why this is so shocking to me. I mean, this *must* have been relayed to me at some point.
I'm doing good generally now, don't get me wrong. Everything that is supposed to be functioning in my body, is! It's just... man, who wants to know in 20 years your kidneys wont work or however long. Ya know? Shit. My sister and I have a joke - sometimes guffin' around saying "Well, geez, you better keep those kidney's good, I'm gonna need one". Stuff like that. I wasn't ever serious tho.
So here I am, being a bit sad. Tomorrow I'll be fine, heck, in a few hours I'll be over it. Just sayin'... cuz I can. And, PMS sucks!
posted by Nyte @ 2:15 PM
Comments: 1
